My style is strong like hard lumber;
Cute chicks get the dick,
Ugly bitches get the wrong number.

Big L, “Who Shot Ya Freestyle,” from Tim Westwood’s radio show, 1997. More from Harlem’s finest…

I never gave a rat’s ass or a flyin’ fuck…
Drivin’ drunk in a fire truck with the siren stuck,
Slammin’ the brakes, skiddin’ out cause the tires suck.
Went to pull you off my dick and got the pliers stuck.
You better run, cause I’m probably the only one
Crazy enough to shoot your ass with a knife and stab you with a gun.

Eminem, “5 Star Generals,” from Shabaam Sahdeeq’s Sound Clash / 5 Star Generals 12″, 1998. More from Em…

Now Joe wanna be like Bob,
Bob got it goin’ on with no job.
And everything Rob got he got from Robin,
And everything she got, she got ho-hoppin’.
My girl Jilly wanna be like Jackie,
Fat rope chains and I think that’s wick-wacky.
Tom and Dick wanna be like Harry,
Little do they know he’s bitin’ on Barry…

Salt, “Expression,” from Salt-N-Pepa’s Blacks’ Magic, 1990

Want to know my occupation, home location, and means of transportation?
The correct combination unlocked your placenta…
I got a cellular phone with a rubber antenna,
And a 3-story house, drive a 4-door Ac.
Favorite song of all time? Mobb Deep’s ‘Hit It From the Back’

Ras Kass, “Drama,” Soul on Ice, 1996. More from Ras Kass…

I don’t know why y’all so highly regarded;
You rhyme like you’re borderline mildly retarded.

Royce da 5′9″, “You Should Know,” from Royce & DJ Premier’s PRhyme, 2014.

I hope you get a paper cut on your tongue
From a razor in a paper cup.
I hope every soda you drink’s already shaken up.
I hope your dreams dry like raisins in the baking sun.
I hope your titties’ all saggy in your early 20s.
I hope there’s always snow in your driveway.
I hope you never get off Fridays…
And you work at a Friday’s that’s always busy on Fridays.

Chance the Rapper, “Baby Blue,” from Action Bronson’s Mr. Wonderful, 2015. More from Chance…

I’m just a bastard with a bad habit,
Bad back, in a black Volkswagen Rabbit
…Shit, I gotta have it.
Black magic woman put a spell on me;
Fuck around and win a spelling bee.
I could walk under ladders, still win the lotto.
Ten minutes flat: built a boat in a bottle.

Action Bronson, “Galactic Love,” Mr. Wonderful, 2015. More from Bronsolini…

You see y’all got it all wrong like women in tuxedos,
And comin’ up shorter than five Danny DeVitos.
I’m on a cool ranch…get laid more than Fritos,
With five strippers, four wives and three amigos.
I go scuba divin’ in Bays at Montego,
I find gold links and snatch ‘em like I’m Deebo.
But I’m the light-skindeded version of Mandingo,
I’ve seen more Beatles and Jagged Edges than Ringo,
I used to run numbers in line they called me ‘Bingo.’

Ludacris, “Coming 2 America,” Word of Mouf, 2001. More from Luda…

…That’s when you start to stare at who’s in the mirror,
And see yourself as a kid again, and you get embarrassed.
And I got nothin’ to do but make you look stupid as parents,
You fuckin’ do-gooders; too bad you couldn’t do good at marriage!

Eminem, “Renegade,” from Jay-Z’s The Blueprint, 2001

My first name must be “He Ain’t Shit”
Cause every time I’m in a car
Bitches be like, “He ain’t shit!”

Redman, “I’ll Bee Dat!”, Doc’s Da Name 2000, 1998

I’ll ignore you sellin crack, killin people, and keepin it real,
But disrespect me and my adopted fam and die young like veal.

El-P, “89.9 Detrimental,” from Company Flow’s Funcrusher Plus, 1997

Wrote this lyric from in the bed wit’ a chick
She had the tightest grip around the head of my…
…Bic. Now, can I get my pen back?

MF Doom, “Batty-Boys,” Born Like This, 2009. More quotes from MF Doom…

How you looking like beef jerky, beefing in every verse,
But never beefing in person? Randy Savage.
You wouldn’t snap a Slim Jim,
You wouldn’t rip a wrapping on Christmas in Santa’s attic
With the hands of Eddie Scissors…ain’t you average?

Royce Da 5’9", “Courtesy,” from Royce and DJ Premier’s PRhyme, 2014.

I got Soul Power, never took a cold shower,
Never had a girlfriend the color of cooking flour.

J-Ro, “Make Room,” from Tha Alkaholiks’ 21 and Over, 1993. More from Tha Liks…

My mic is a Magnum.
See me and this chick, we go back like Cro-Magnon.
Man…we did it in the back of your Magnum;
I said, ‘Put them Lifestyles back, give me the Magnums.’

Pharoahe Monch, “Rap Life,” from Diamond D’s The Diam Piece, 2014. More lyrics from Pharoahe Monch…

Thought kissin’ ass was in my blood type? Oh, negative.

Phonte, “Raw Life,” from Foreign Exchange’s Connected, 2004. More from Phonte…

Spottin’ fools frontin’ fly, girls act material.
…You live at home with your mom.

Dr. Dooom aka Kool Keith, “You Live at Home with Your Mom,” First Come, First Served, 1999. More Kool Keith lyrics…

I had a church girl, quiet girl…one girl was rich.
The most memorable girl was a Gangsta Bitch.
We went out a lot, sometimes we dressed the same,
Lickin’ shots in the park and had pet names:
I called her ‘Dollars’ cause that’s what she liked to spend;
She called me ‘Diamond’ cause my dick was her best friend.

Apache, “Gangsta Bitch,” Apache Ain’t Shit, 1993

Now who done passed you a diaper and got you thinkin’ you the shit?

Mad Skillz, “The Jam,” From Where???, 1996

Girls, don’t run that shit that beauty’s only skin deep,
Cause I don’t want no girl with a Brillo face,
Or the type that’ll leave Jheri Curl juice on my pillow case.

Lord Finesse, “I Like My Girls With a Boom,” Return of the Funky Man, 1992. More Lord Finesse quotes…

Life is real, reality is not a dream.
Those who chose to sleep…I wake em up,
Cause you’re sleepin with your mouth open hummin deez nuts.

King Sun, “Humm Deez Nuts,” Strictly Ghetto EP, 1994. More King Sun quotes…

This is for my bitches in the shelters that don’t need shelter, you just doin’ that shit for a crib.
And all my bad little bitches, when your baby father hits you, stick a ice cold knife in his ribs.
And all my bitches pimp the system, get your WIC, tell your workers, “Fuck that,” you gon’ have more kids.
And you ain’t have ‘em cause you need ’em, but now you gotta feed em, so you figure that your ass gon’ strip.

Panchi, “Stretch Marks and Cigarette Burns,” from Blaq Poet’s The Blaqprint, 2009

Save your wack rhymes, hold your female.
Pass the Old Gold, trash the ale.
Cash your food stamps, get the WIC out the mail.
Love to eat shrimps, but I never eat snail,
Eat a whole fish except for the tail.
Keep food in the fridge so it don’t get stale,
And when there’s nothing to eat…I bite my nails.

Big Daddy Kane, “On the Bugged Tip,” Long Live the Kane, 1988. More ill quotes from the King Asiatic Nobody’s Equal…

Haters wanna ball, let me tighten up my draw string.
Wrong sport, boy, you know you’re as soft as a lacrosse team.

Jay-Z, “They Don’t Love You No More,” from DJ Khaled’s I Changed A Lot, 2014. Another Drake jab from Hov, ha.

Once I slapped a rapper with mace,
Then I spit acid in his face, after he rinsed his eyes, no wait…
I actually grew five times my size, grabbed Ma$e by the thigh and slapped a rapper with him.

Pharoahe Monch, “Rapid Eye Movement,” PTSD, 2014. More Pharoahe Monch quotes…

The IRS’ll never sweat me or even put up a fight…
Cause I’m sure I’ve paid more in taxes than you’ve made in yo’ life!

Ludacris, “Large Amounts,” The Red Light District, 2004. More Ludacris quotes…

Whatcha gonna do to this?
You may be older than me, but you’re new to this.
Cause I been out there, queen of MC’s,
When your man was walkin’ round in mocknecks and Lee’s.
While you were over here perpetratin’ a fraud,
I was overseas on the charts with Boy George.
You’re the beginner, Shante’s the winner,
Havin’ other competition for dinner.
Sit you on the table with a plate and cup,
Say grace…and then eat your ass up.

Roxanne Shanté, “Go On Girl,” from Colors Soundtrack, 1988

Sorry, Mrs. Drizzy, for so much art talk;
Silly me rappin’ ‘bout shit that I really bought.
While these rappers rap about guns they ain’t shot,
And a bunch of other silly shit that they ain’t got.

Jay-Z, “We Made It,” 2014

I never boned a honey that I didn’t like,
I never saw a mile that I couldn’t hike.
I never had a spliff to make me choke,
I never had a pocket that was broke.

Dres, “Flavor of the Month,” from Black Sheep’s A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing, 1991

Unpredictable, liable to flip my lid…
My moms dropped me on my head when I was a kid.
Back then I lost all my marbles, today I lost my job,
So in essence, it’s Armageddon, somebody’s bound to get robbed!

Sticky Fingaz, “Shiftee,” from Onyx’s Bacdafucup, 1993. More Onyx quotes…

I be tossin’, enforcin’, my style is awesome.
I’m causin’ more Family Feuds than Richard Dawson.
And the survey said: “You’re dead.”
Fatal Flying Guillotine chops off your fuckin’ head!

RZA, “Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing Ta F’ Wit,” from Wu-Tang Clan’s Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers), 1993. More RZA quotes…

If I don’t got two balls and a middle finger to throw up,
I’m takin off both shoes and stickin each middle toe up.

Eminem, “The Last Hit,” from The High & Mighty’s Home Field Advantage, 1999. More Eminem quotes…

My mind’s my 9, my pen’s my Mac-10.
My target? All you wack niggaz who started rappin’.

The Notorious B.I.G., “Player’s Anthem,” from Junior M.A.F.I.A.’s Conspiracy, 1995. More Biggie quotes…

Of course I’m funky like fat people having intercourse.
Basically, the funk is stuck in your teeth…so get the dental floss.

Redman, “Freak Out,” from Erick Sermon’s Double or Nothing, 1995. More from Redman…

You better recognize, adjust your bifocals;
Your style is local…I sit on the beach in Acapulco.
I put words together like Peter Jennings,
And skate on motherfuckers like Peggy Fleming.

Diamond D., “The Next Level,” from Tha Alkaholiks’ Coast II Coast, 1995

I write raps, and when niggas bite, I clap.
Cause their shit sounds better now.

Casual, “That’s How It Is,” Fear Itself, 1994

You’re living up in Heaven, but I know you’re mad as Hell.

MF Grimm, “Do It For the Kids,” 12”, 1998. More from MF Grimm.

Alright I might…
Have had a little glare when I stared at ya ho.
But I didn’t know she was like that,
She stared right back!

Casual, “I Didn’t Mean To,” Fear Itself, 1994

Complainin’ to my lawyer how this rookie tried to frisk me…
Jealous of my jeep, I gave his badge to the chief,
And got his ass directin’ traffic in the heat for a week.

RZA, “Wherever I Go,” Birth of a Prince, 2003. More Wu-Tang Clan quotes

I’m real good at troubleshooting;
When there’s trouble…I start shooting.

Necro, “Pain,” from Necro & Kool G. Rap’s The Godfathers Once Upon a Crime, 2013

I’m hooked on gin and tonics like your mama’s Hooked on Phonics.

Tash, “Make Room,” from Tha Alkaholiks’ 21 & Over, 1993

I got the gangsta in me, plus I’m not friendly
To a bitch-ass whose mouth runs more laps than the Indy.

Redman, “Nuthin’ But the Gangsta,” from MC Eiht’s We Come Strapped, 1994

Cats be talkin’, “Bobby I ain’t feelin’ ya.”
But I bet if I was peelin’ your cap back with a two-shot Dillinger
Hot lead released from my cylinder,
You’d be talkin’ ‘bout, “Bobby I’m feelin’ ya!”

RZA, “W.W.T. (Worldwide Thugs),” 2001

I hate The Police so much I’d probably assassinate Sting,
My System of a Down Rages Against the Machine.
Tie you up in a Slipknot and hold Alice In Chains inside her dreams.

Chino XL, “90 Bars of Intervention,” RICANStruction, 2012

I’d count my blessings, but I suck at math.

Eminem, “So Far…,” The Marshall Mathers LP 2, 2013

Dutch in my ear, Olde E in my palm,
I Freddy Krueger your face, Michael Myers your moms.
You botherin mine? That’s when I’m sparkin the nine.

Sean Price, “King Kong,” Jesus Price Superstar, 2007

If we gotta dumb down our style and ABC it, then so be it,
Cause nowadays these kids just don’t give a shit ‘bout lyrics.
All they wanna hear is a beat and that’s it,
Long as they can go to the club and get blitzed,
Pick up some chicks and get some digits.
And the DJs playing them hits, “Oh, this my jam, this my shit!”
We don’t know a word to a verse, all we know is the chorus,
Cause the chorus repeats the same four words for us.

Eminem, “Syllables," 2010

It’s all love, but love’s got a thin line
And Pun’s got a big nine,
Respect crime…but not when it reflect mine.

Big Pun, “Off the Books,” from The Beatnuts’ Stone Crazy, 1997

I make niggas eat dirt and fart dust,
Then give you a $80 gift certificate to Pussies “Я” Us.

Ludacris, “Mouthing Off,” Back for the First Time, 2000

A letter to you suckers,
Each and every one of you duck muthafuckas…
Your girl puckers her lips, so I stuck her.

Kool G. Rap, “Jive Talk,” from Kool G. Rap and DJ Polo’s Wanted: Dead or Alive, 1990

Make a radio hit: heads criticize it.
Underground classic? Nobody buys it.
So, rap is fucked…
And everything blowing up sounds redundant,
But money talks and bullshit does 9 flat in the 100.

Ras Kass, “Reelishymn,” Soul On Ice, 1996

Nothing’s been the same since they dropped ‘Control’
And tucked a sensitive rapper back in his pajama clothes.
Ha-ha! Joke’s on you, high-five, I’m bulletproof,
Your shit’ll never penetrate.
Pin the tail on the donkey, boy you been a fake.

Kendrick Lamar, BET Cypher, 2013.

Why do I need ID to get ID?
If I had ID, I wouldn’t need ID.

Mos Def, “The Questions,” from Common’s Like Water for Chocolate, 2000

Rhymes so def, rhymes rhymes galore,
Rhymes that you’ve never even heard before.
Now if you say you heard my rhyme, we gonna have to fight,
‘Cause I just made the muthafuckas up last night!

Run, “Here We Go (Live at the Funhouse),” from Run-DMC’s Run-DMC, 1984

If you go platinum, it’s got nothing to do with luck,
It just means that a million people are stupid as fuck.

Immortal Technique, “Industrial Revolution,” Revolutionary Vol. 2, 2003

I’m a street genius with a unique penis,
Got fly chicks on my dick that don’t even speak English.

Big L, “Da Graveyard,” Lifestylez Ov Da Poor & Dangerous, 1995

All I see is sissies in magazines smiling…
Whatever happened to wildin’ out and being violent?
Whatever happened to catching a good, old-fashioned, passionate ass whoopin’?
And getting your shoes, coat and your hat tooken?

Eminem, “Marshall Mathers,” The Marshall Mathers LP, 2000

My new shorty got a gymnastic back,
‘87 emerald green on a classic Jag.
She had the cleft palate, I ordered chef’s salad;
She had the club foot, with that little arm,
I couldn’t help but laugh…she ordered Chicken Parm.

Action Bronson, “NaNa,” from Chance The Rapper’s Acid Rap, 2013

They say that love is powerful as cough syrup and Styrofoam.
All I know is I fell asleep and woke up in that Monte Carlo
With the ugly Kardashian…
Lamar, oh, sorry. Yo, we done both set the bar low.

Eminem, “Berzerk,” The Marshall Mathers LP 2, 2013

What is competition? I’m tryna raise the bar high,
Who tryna jump and get it? You better off tryna skydive
Out the exit window of 5 G5’s with 5 grand
With your granddad as the pilot he drunk as fuck tryna land
With the hand full of arthritis and popping prosthetic leg
Bumpin Pac in the cockpit so the shit that pops in his head
Is an option of violence, someone heard the stewardess said
That your parachute is a latex condom hooked to a thread.

Kendrick Lamar, “Control,” from Big Sean’s Hall of Fame, 2013

I’ve seen niggas transform like villain Decepticons,
Mollies’ll prolly turn these niggas to fuckin’ Lindsay Lohan.
A bunch of rich ass white girls lookin’ for parties,
Playin with Barbies, wreck the Porsche before you give ‘em the car key.

Kendrick Lamar, “Control,” from Big Sean’s Hall of Fame, 2013

It seem like everybody dress tight now,
And I just want my credit.

Kanye West, “Gifted,” from N.A.S.A.’s The Spirit of Apollo, 2009

You can’t take the heat, get ya ass out the kitchen
Matter fact, take ya ass back in there and wash the dishes.

Royce Da 5’9", “Deadly Melody,” from Black Milk’s Album of the Year, 2010

I don’t mind you talkin shit, just keep it in the first person.

El-P, “89.9 Detrimental,” from Company Flow’s Funcrusher Plus, 1997

Nowadays, the game is all bugged out,
Phony, like back when Hammer tried to come thugged out.

MF Doom, “Foolish,“ from MF Grimm’s Downfall of Ibliys: A Ghetto Opera, 2002

Her dreams hold Versace,
She fall for Armani…
Only deal with rich niggas,
Fuck you and Mitt Romney.

Kendrick Lamar, “Memories Back Then,” Grand Hustle Presents: Hustle Gang, 2013

Lyrically, I’m supposed to represent;
I’m not only the client, I’m the player president.

The Notorious B.I.G., “One More Chance (Remix),” 12", 1995

Feds still lurking,
They see I’m still putting work in.
Cause somewhere in America…
Miley Cyrus is still twerkin’.

Jay-Z, “Somewhere In America,” Magna Carta Holy Grail, 2013

I drop styles on ears…the public bite ‘em.
Not many went to school, so the dummies wouldn’t write ’em.
They say, “Yo Keith! You’re Kool, you usin’ big words!”
I went to college, I’m even more stupid, herb.

Kool Keith, “Raise It Up,” from Ultramagnetic M.C.’s The Four Horsemen, 1993

Ooh! Jesus Christ had dreads, so shake ‘em.
I ain’t got none, but I’m planning on growing some.
Imagine all the Hebrews going dumb…
Dancing on top of chariots and turning tight ones.

E-40, “Tell Me When to Go,” My Ghetto Report Card, 2006

They claim we’re products from the bottom of Hell,
But the black is back, and it’s bound to sell.
Picture us coolin’ out on the Fourth of July…
And if you heard we were celebratin’, that’s a worldwide lie.

Flavor Flav, “Louder than a Bomb,” from Public Enemy’s It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back, 1988

My heart is ‘We Are the World,’ my penis is P.E.
But my balls are Avatar, you could see ’em in 3D.

Pharoahe Monch, “Let U Live,” from Consequence’s Movies on Demand, 2010

I drink twenty forties, smoke forty blunts,
Say a hundred rhymes, and not sound like you once.

Dres, “Roll  Wit Tha Flava,” from Flavor Unit’s Roll Wit Tha Flava, 1993

‘What you doing in the club on a Thursday?’
She say she only here for her girl birthday…
They ordered champagne but still look thirsty,
Rock Forever 21 but just turned 30.

Kanye West, “Bound 2,” Yeezus, 2013

All right, stop whatcha doin, cause I’m about to ruin
The image and the style that you’re used to.

Shock G. aka Humpty Hump, “The Humpty Dance,” from Digital Underground’s Sex Packets, 1990

Might go fuck a rapper’s life up like Mo’nique did to Precious.

Killer Mike, “Get It,” from Killer Mike and El-P’s Run the Jewels, 2013

I’m stuck in a time capsule when rappers’ actually factual;
Meaning: shit you spit might cause killers to come and clap at you.

Killer Mike, “Get It,” from Killer Mike and El-P’s Run the Jewels, 2013

Food for thought, eat my words with your mind:
Emcees are grapes, and grapes are crushed to wine.

MF Grimm, “Do It for the Kids,” 12", 1998

I can drink a whole Hennessy fifth.
Some call that a problem, but I call it a gift.

Xzibit, “Get Your Walk On,” Restless, 2000

I chop ‘em into salad and my name ain’t Caesar.

Black Thought, “@15,” from The Roots’ Rising Down, 2008

Step to this and get shanked up,
I knocked out so many teeth, the tooth fairy went bankrupt.

Big L, “Let ‘Em Have it L,” Lifestyles Ov Da Poor and Dangerous, 1995

‘You claim to be the man, you want me for a lover,
So you can do my girlfriends and my sister and my mother?’

I said, ‘You’re very blunt,’ with quickness to the cue,
‘So whassup with your mother, does she look as good as you?’

Dres, “Similac Child,” from Black Sheep’s A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing, 1991

My mama didn’t see it comin, my daddy was there.
What’s my excuse? Cartoons were the root.
Started with Yosemite Sam
With the gun in the palm of the hand,
What couldn’t I demand?

Pusha T, “Young Boy,” from The Clipse’s Lord Willin’, 2002

I don’t know what’s better: getting laid or getting paid.
I just know when I’m getting one, the other’s getting away.

Kanye West, “This Way,” from Dilated Peoples’ Neighborhood Watch, 2004

You stackin cheddar cause you working at the burger place.

Inspectah Deck, “It’s Raw,” CZARFACE, 2013

You can tell by the rhyme it’s my time to shine;
Let’s eat, motherfucker, I don’t dine on swine.
I don’t beef with turkeys, I told you the God’ll fold you,
Hard to digest: I suggest that you take tofu.

Sean Price, “Like You,” Jesus Price Superstar, 2007

Couldn’t you see me and you stretched out in a bikini on the beach in Tahiti?
See, me, I’m very selective even though I could be greedy;
My main objective is to write our names together in graffiti.

Pharoahe Monch, “Shugah Shorty,” from Organized Konfusion’s The Equinox, 1997

I’m givin’ more flat lines to niggas than loose-leaf.

Kool G. Rap, “Go For Your Guns,” from Kool G. Rap and DJ Polo’s Live and Let Die, 1992

I don’t get pat down, you know what’s on the waist,
I don’t mean Jazz when I say I “count base.”
Fly Louis sneakers, Purple Tape coming out the speakers,
Bumped into my high school teachers,
They said I wouldn’t be nothing, sitting on the bleachers.
Now I’m sitting in the Phantom, trynna figure out the features.
I’m a big fish now, I watch for the leeches.

Sheek Louch, “Pour tha Martini,” from Wu-Block, 2012

You got game like me? I doubt it.
They say pimping ain’t easy…what’s so hard about it?

A.G., “Fat for the 90’s,” from Lord Finesse’s Return of the Funky Man, 1992

Even when I say nothing, it’s a beautiful use of negative space.

El-P, “The Fire In Which You Burn,” from Company Flow’s Funcrusher Plus, 1997

My limo driver’s white, my attorney black…
‘Show me some love’ like I’m Bernie Mac.

Masta Ace, “Good Ol Love,” Long Hot Summer, 2004

Picture yourself crushin’ Xzibit with your tough talk?
That’s like Christopher Reeve doing the crip walk.

Xzibit, “3 Card Molly,” 40 Days and 40 Nightz, 1998

Wake up: all of that ‘crack in the street’ talk?
It’s made up, like ‘Jack and the Beanstalk.’

Sean Price, “Pyrex,” Mic Tyson, 2012

Put your hands where I can see ‘em, so they look like 12 PM
On the dot, see this Glock? Don’t make me give these shells freedom.

Elzhi, “Hands Up,” The Preface, 2008

You know that one auntie, you don’t wanna be rude,
…But every holiday, nobody eatin’ her food.

Kanye West, “Family Business,” The College Dropout, 2004